I went through so many hardship during this year. I learn so many things. No No. It ain't engineering related but more to life related. How to stand up again when you fall, how to be strong, how to not give up when you think everything is falling apart. There was some point I was so depressed that I almost, almost, wanted to give up everything, stop studying and all. I still remember how depressed I was at that time, I started to isolate myself from everyone because I feel so useless. Alhamdulillah, Allah showed me the way and give me strength to move on. I made a decision which changes my whole life as a student. It changes the whole thing but I can't regret. I can't. It is what I choose, I have to take responsibility for every action I made, right? After all that happened to me, I come to a conclusion that I'm a secretive person. I keep too many secrets from everyone. I keep everything all by myself , it accumulated, and I exploded. It isn't a good thing but I don't believe in telling people my problems. So many times, too many times, I thought they cared for me, in the end, nahhh.....
This year, I lost a very important person in my life, my grandpa. It's been months since he passed away yet sometime I still cry myself to sleep because I just miss him too much. He was like a father to me. We had so many good memories together, it make things more complicated. I can't express how much I miss you, atok. May Allah bless your soul.
Last but not least, let's end 2011 with a good ending, shall we? I apologize for any mistakes I've done, intentionally or unintentionally. To my friends, I think I need to say this, I'm sorry for running away. I admit I'm running away from some people which I can't explain the reason why. I'm sorry. I'm a totally new person. I'm no longer a friendly, happy go lucky girl. I'm a secretive, quiet and bipolar girl. If you can't be happy with what I am, I'm sorry but I will definitely distance myself from you regardless of who you are. I suffered too much I want to be happy but you don't like it so running away myself from you is the best solution.
P/S : If I can conclude my 2011 with a song, it will be The Climb by Miley Cyrus ^__^
2 comments:
babe, cheer up.Allah doesn't plan everything u go through for just a waste. someday, sometimes, u'll see how this test really means to u n you'll be grateful for what u've been through. not all people is as lucky as WE are. in the game of life, we're a little bit expert than them dun we? ;) so cheer up!! u can keep urself a distance from who u want, but believe me, running away isn't the best solution. whatever it is, remind urself, we always have each other. no matter what happen. i'm beside u. ok? all the best exam :))
-fina-
thank you so much fina! i know i have u and only u, i think :)
i hope Allah will show me the good/reason behind all what had happened to me soon. we are too strong for our age, right? huhu.
thanks again, BFF! XDD
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